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ARD, Adult Adoptees “relieves” me of my membership

Joy, a moderator of the adult adoptees forum, and part of their administrative team made up of “Addie Pray, Dory, Joy, Lillie, & Stewie” posted this:

joy Says:

July 26th, 2008 at 4:09 pm

good news, you don’t have to delete your account, you have been relieved of your membership.

to my earlier blog post from last night about me removing my own work from the adult adoptees forum, yet retaining my account there (in which I explained my reasoning for doing so thusly:)

In light of the recent trashing of Bastard Nation, Marley/Bastardette, and myself in the wake of the Adoptee Rights Demonstration

The “adult” adoptees thread in question, entitled “Comments to Baby Love Child’s blog that’ll never see the true light of day”, based around a comment Catherine Robishaw ( had attempted to post to my blog last night that I had not let through YET:

Catherine Robishaw |

Unfortunately for everyone, you’ll never post this comment.
Honestly, you have no idea what you are talking about. But you’re just like Marley, with your hands over your ears saying “Lalalalala I can’t hear you!”.

You guys are so on the outside looking in, and you don’t even know it.

You just look pitiful, posting these entries in your blog. You are your ilk are a dying breed. Thank God.

See ya next year in Philly! Oh then again, probably not! *snicker*

Jul 25, 7:39 PM — to Adoptee Rights Demonstration updates their page, now that it’s mostly over

has apparently been removed as well.

After all, the “adult adoptees” folks wouldn’t want Bastard Nation members to be able to register at adult adoptees and actually see the way they talk about us behind our back in their forum space, now would they?

But fear not, you can certainly find Joy’s and others’ trashings of Bastard Nation other publicly available places such as this thread she started on alt.adoption, HEY THANKS BN from the protest, as but one example. (Naturally, there are many responses that could be given to such, but it’s not going to happen in this post.)

Let’s just say “adult adoptees” is anything but a “support forum” for adoptees despite claiming to be just that:

Our main feature is our support forum where our members can come together and talk about whatever they desire; whether it be adoption related or not.

Despite the flowery language in their home page:

Here at, our second, and equally important issue is adoptee rights. We believe in equal rights for all people. We believe that everyone should have access to their original unaltered birth certificate.


nor are they about ‘political activism’ as they have locked threads about such, claiming to not be about activism, but instead about getting back to their real mission, “support.”

With support like this… .

They are however many of the same people behind nuARD/DAR.

That said, I’m hardly the only person who has felt the petty vindictive ugliness of the admins of the “adult” adoptees board. Here, on a page entitled “Joy is our admin” for example, is a pre-existing earlier website about Joy’s tactics, complete with a filk of her petty antics.

Finally, as a special present for those of you collecting such, a screen shot of my personalized insult on the login page, geared to my IP:


(Click to see a larger sized version.)

The text itself beneath the ironic “support” message reads:

Sorry Guest, you are banned from using this forum!

ByeBye Loser Child

Considering the “adult” adoptees (lack of) appeals process, I detailed here, My brief statement on what happened on the Adult Adoptees forum, let’s just say I won’t be bothering to appeal the banning.

Yup, meet the real face of certain ARD/DAR organizers. Petty, vicious, and anything but “adoptee support.” You’re either part of their dysfunctional clique or you’re banned.

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